The Unexpected Path That Led Me Here
My first recollection of my passion for the outdoors coincides with the first mature decision I would make in life. All on my own, I came to the conclusion that in order to spend more time outdoors, I had no other option than to drop out of preschool. My mind was made and could not be changed.
Feeling free from the systemic constraints of preschool, it was finally time to express my passion for the outdoors and the environment. During this stage, that meant guilt tripping one of the three women in my life, my mother, grandmother or great grandmother, to put down what they were doing, pack us a picnic, and take me to the stream in my neighborhood.
These picnics at the stream would later on be realized as the inception of my love for all things outdoors.
In the years to follow, I was forced against my will to go to school. Unbeknownst to me was the legislation mandating that children do so. Frustrated, but not quite equipped to present my argument for why I should be able to go fishing instead, my time outdoors was significantly shortened. It was reduced to weekends and the summer, which I took full advantage of.
A small two bedroom log cabin, located on the Magothy River in Severna Park, Maryland, was, and remains to be, my outdoor sanctuary. This oasis allowed me and as many young, eager outdoorsman that could be stuffed into my mother’s suburban, the freedom to fish, crab and kayak as much as our young souls desired.
The Shore House taught me to value and truly appreciate the environment and all of its beauty. It was also here where my passion for fishing turned into more of an obsession. Nearly every moment from first light in the morning until sunset in the evening was spent fishing from the dock, a kayak or the boat. The only thing that could get me to put my rod down for a moment was the smell of the bacon my mother cooked every morning for all of the kids. But after devouring the literal pounds of bacon, it was straight back down to the dock and my fishing rod.
My time for fishing was soon split with my increasing passion for soccer throughout middle school and high school. By high school I was playing on one of the top club teams in the state, with division 1 soccer on the horizon. My plan, along with my coaches, was to be recruited by the end of junior year by a school with a division 1 soccer program.
During the first month of preseason my junior year I received my fourth and most serious concussion, leaving me unable to play sports for the next year and a half. This was my first experience in learning that my plan is not THE plan.
Concussions are not like a broken bone; the doctors do not have a set recovery protocol detailing and giving a timeline of the healing process. Throughout the year and a half, I was left wondering every day when I would be healthy and back to normal. Along with the lost hope of playing division 1 soccer, I struggled immensely with my academics. Constant migraines, dizziness, sleepiness, and many other symptoms made one of the top private schools in the country even more difficult. My social life also became nonexistent during this time, as I was unable to do any sort of strenuous activities and was often reduced to laying in a dark room as a result of the pain.
Far worse than the physical effects, like the pain from migraines, was the psychological effect this concussion had on me. Depression and anxiety were symptoms that I had not experienced during my previous concussions, but quickly became the most troubling during this one. These symptoms were compounded by being unable to perform both athletically and academically, as well as being unable to participate in daily activities with friends and peers.
I began to dread waking up every day. Depression and anxiety turned my world upside down and I was yearning for a remedy. After struggling for a few months, I decided to try medication to help alleviate these symptoms, but was left feeling like a zombie and even more depressed.
It was not until I began attending church for the first time since I was very young that I would feel any relief. Through a newfound relationship with God, I was able to find peace and hope throughout my days. I found peace in knowing that He had a greater plan for me, even if I was unable to understand it. God also led me back to my passion for the outdoors, which became my escape from the constant battle with depression and anxiety over the next year.
Spring of 2013 came along and the words I had been longing to hear for so long were finally spoken, I was cleared to play sports again! Being the stubborn person I am, I held out choosing a college to attend in hopes that I would be able to play soccer at the collegiate level. I am still not quite sure how it happened, but I was offered a walk on spot on a division 3 soccer team at Washington College, located on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.
It almost seemed too good to be true…
In order to abridge the would be novel containing the series of events that transpired next, I will list them in chronological order with a brief synopsis.
● August 17th, 2013: Broke two metatarsals in my foot clean in half and tore ligaments in my ankle
○ The very first day of preseason on the D3 soccer team, after completing and passing the fitness testing, during the first drill I was tackled from behind and was down for the count.
○ Two weeks into recovery, the floors in the restroom were mopped while I was in the shower, no wet floor signs in sight, I took a step and my crutches slipped out. One of the pins holding the bones shifted sideways and the bone was left like a Z in my foot.
● January 3rd, 2014: Was battling with a torn labrum in my shoulder and finally had surgery after dislocating my shoulder while fishing.
○ I took the prescribed pain medication four hours after returning home. I don’t remember this, but my brother Michael has told me that while we were watching tv, my phone began to ring, and in an effort to answer I picked up the tv remote next to it and began conversing as if someone was on the other line. Being my older brother, he proceeded to hand me the DVD remote and told me to try that because it had better service.
○ My family was all leaving for the gym, but at the last moment my mom decided to stay home to keep an eye on me, undoubtedly by the guidance of God.
○ She walked into the room fifteen minutes later and found me unresponsive, unconscious, with hardly a trace of vital signs and on my way into cardiac arrest.
○ I was rushed to the hospital and shot up with Nalaxone (reverses the effects of narcotics), adrenaline and whatever else it took to bring me back from the brink of death.
○ After a number of long hours in the hospital, my heart rate and oxygen levels were back to normal and I was released.
○ Someone on the operating team had a major OOPS moment to say the least.
● May 12th, 2014: Chopped the top of my index finger off on my left hand
○ It was the first Monday of summer after a less than enjoyable freshman year and my brother and I were working for my mothers HVAC company.
○ While lifting heavy machinery over a wall, it slipped and I tried to pull my hand out as quick as possible. I looked down at my hand and realized I wasn't fast enough, my bone was sticking out and blood was squirting out of my finger.
○ I wrapped my finger in my shirt and calmly said, “Frick this, I chopped the top of my finger off, lets go to the hospital”.
○ At the hospital, I decided to try to find humor in the situation. My shirt had a accumulated a puddle of blood that was in the shape of a circle, leading me to take a selfie on snapchat and captioning it, “Just got shot, perks of working in Baltimore”. Three of my cousins left class crying to call their mothers after viewing the snapchat, this gave me a good chuckle.
○ Next joke was on a younger nurse who was going over the surgical procedure with me. My brother was in the room and I began talking about what made good catfish bait. I looked over to the nurse and asked if I could have the top of my finger back, so that I could use it for bait to catch a catfish. Looking as if she was going to faint and pale as a ghost, her stern response was, "No, we must incinerate it" I tried to convince her that it was technically still my finger, but the response remained.
○ 32 stitches later and a surprise skin graft from the inside of my arm and I was out the door.
● November 2014: Inguinal Hernia Surgery on the left side.
○ I had transferred to College of Charleston and so far the year was going great. I played on the club soccer team that fall, and the coach of the D1 team told me that I had a spot to walk on in the spring.
○ The recovery from this surgery did not overlap when I would have begun playing with the COFC team, all hope was not lost.
● January 2015: Inguinal Hernia Surgery on the right side.
○ I guess that was a good joke thinking I was going to be able to play D1 soccer that spring.
○ Surgery went well at the time and I had a few months recovery.
● September 2015: Umbilical Hernia Surgery, along with new operations on the previous two hernias, fixing errors that were causing nerve damage.
○ This is starting to get funny, don't you think?
○ Again I played club soccer earlier that fall and was given the opportunity to walk on the D1 team in the spring.
○ Recovery was a bit longer because they had to reopen the previous incisions, but I would still be able to play in the spring.
● December 2015: Fifth and final concussion.
○ I almost wish I could say that I fell down drunk after a long night of partying in college, but where is the humor in that? Instead, I was at home sober on a friday night sleeping, woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, stood up, passed out and woke up on the floor after hitting my head on the door frame.
○ A year long medical leave was taken in order to recover.
Everyone always told me that college would be the best time of my life…. This was not the most accurate statement to say the least. Even with my faith, I was constantly left questioning the reasons for the events that occurred, and at the time, I was never able to find meaning in them. Once again I found depression knocking at the door to my brain. I had no hope of playing soccer at any competitive level, and I spent two and a half years, and the cost of out-of-state tuition on classes that would never be applicable to my life. More often than not, I found myself wishing that I was home alone after my shoulder surgery when I had the postoperative complications. This was a thought that frequently haunted me from the day of the complications in January of 2014, until September of 2017.
During a nine hour drive back from Florida, after a fishing trip in October of 2015, I somewhat randomly decided to write a business plan for an outdoor clothing and apparel company in the notes of my iPhone. In full disclosure, I am aware of how irresponsible this was and would not recommend doing such a thing to anyone else. With that said, upon reviewing what was transcribed that previous night, I was pleasantly surprised of the outcome. Knowing that my father was very business oriented, I asked him if he could help me transition the Iphone notes version of my business plan to a professionally written one I could put to use. He shared a business plan he thought highly of and with this as a templet, I began working. After completing the new, legitimate business plan, I decided I would send it to a few of my friends fathers who were also well respected businessmen. Again pleasantly surprised, I received a very positive response to the plan and this was the first time I found joy in something in a long time.
Armed with a business plan and a scrambled brain, in the beginning of 2016, Shore Thing Outfitters, LLC was brought to life. This company immediately became my escape throughout the medical leave, and has grown to be more than I ever imagined.
With no prior business experience, I scraped together what little money I had and with a small loan from my parents, I began to build the company. To combat my lack of knowledge, I spent every minute possible researching and studying how to operate a business.
I created my very first website using the platform Squarespace, and at the time of launch, it was very noticeable that this was my first attempt at designing a website. Since the launch, I have constantly been improving the website in any way possible.
With a functional website, it was time to create my first product. I created what now seems like a very amateur level design of a redfish that was printed on my first run of hats. Luckily, as a result of a great support system comprised of family and friends, I was able to sell the first fifty hats relatively quickly. Knowing that this support system would only take me so far, marketing was one of my next obstacles. I created a company and personal instagram, as well as a company facebook page to use as my platforms. I was shocked at how much went into the use of social media for marketing, but was eager to learn. Instagram became my primary marketing tool where I found the most success and a new, larger audience to market to.
With a larger audience, I knew I needed to produce higher quality designs. I created the following few designs by drawing them on paper, then having an artist at the printing company transform them into graphic designs. I have always enjoyed doing artwork, so in an attempt to save money, I downloaded all of the Adobe programs and learned how to create graphic designs myself. It wasn't easy at first, but over time I have become confident enough in my work to print the designs, which are now my best sellers.
Along with selling via ecommerce, I was able to sell my apparel in local stores. Lowcountry Fly Shop was the first store that my apparel was sold in, and they have been a great support system and mentors as I have grown my business.
Fall of 2016 had arrived and the end of my medical leave was quickly approaching. The company that began as an escape from my depression was turning into something I wanted to pursue long term. Even with the excitement from the company, I was still struggling with depression and anxiety, and I knew that stopping to return to college would only worsen this.
It was not until December of 2016, when I stumbled upon a manufacturing process that used recycled fishing nets to create a nylon fabric, that I had a moment of clarity. My year of medical leave came to an end, and it was decision time. Aware of this new method of manufacturing, I felt this was my opportunity to give back to the environment and make a difference on a larger scale than would have been possible.
My decision was made, and like preschool, fishing took priority to school. This decision was accompanied by reactions spanning the spectrum from extreme support to worry and disagreement from both family and friends. But I knew my mission and regardless of what anyone thought, I was set on making a difference. Here is a list of some of the things I learned and accomplished in the first year of business leading to my decision:
● Wrote and executed my first business plan
● Learned how to design an ecommerce website and launched it
● Received investment offers and took on an investor
● Studied and applied marketing strategies
● Created a known brand through marketing
● Invested in a professional camera and honed in on my photography skills
● Learned how to create graphic designs ready to print on clothing or hats
● Sold my apparel in multiple different stores
● Made sales throughout 30 different states on my ecommerce website
● Established meaningful business relationships
● Felt confident enough in my business to dropout of college
Almost immediately after making my decision, the reality of the challenges I would face ahead sunk in. During the first year, I printed my designs locally on hats and shirts that were manufactured by large companies, such as Comfort Colors or Vapor Apparel. While this was a more expensive way to operate, this cut out the challenges of sourcing materials, creating a fabric that met desired specifications, sourcing a cut and sew manufacturer, and creating patterns for clothing- all of which I knew nothing about but would soon face.
2017 was a year full of excitement, accompanied by stress, anxiety, and the worst bout with depression yet. Trying to operate the company as I had been, while also creating the new line of apparel made from fishing nets led me to be worn down and in September I found myself at rock bottom. I had never fully addressed my depression, rather I found ways to escape from it. With no other choice, I flew up to Maryland where I finally faced my depression with the help of a psychologist. I learned how to prevent myself from reaching that state, rather than escaping from it once I had. What has helped me the most is taking time to assess the way I am feeling, rather than completely filling my day from the time I wake up until I go to sleep so that I didn't have time to consider what, if anything, was stressing me out. Now if I am stressed about anything, I know that I must communicate through prayer or communication with a friend or family member what I am stressed about. This alleviates the stress and does not allow it to grow into something larger.
I also know how difficult it can be to openly communicate about mental health and want everyone to know that no matter our relationship, if you ever find yourself having a difficult time and in need of someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Addressing my mental health struggle also made me realize that, in order to create the company I truly envisioned with the recycled material, it was necessary to start new and learn from the mistakes I had made with Shore Thing Outfitters. I am not shutting down STO, but am transitioning to what will be known as Net Zero Apparel™ upon its launch in March or April.
Like everyone else, life has thrown me curve balls which caused my plans to change. I would never have imagined that at 22 years old this is what I would be doing in life, but I would not change it one bit. I am able to look back over the years that I struggled with injuries and depression, and rather than having a feeling of discontent, I see how God had His hand on me through every step, good or bad, guiding me along His path. He has led me to this company, that I plan to use as a platform to give back and make a difference in the environment. Making the clothing out of recycled fishing nets, that would have otherwise been left to wreak havoc on the marine ecosystem as ghost fishing equipment, is only one way which I plan on making a difference. I am eager to see where my path will lead me next, and am excited to share the journey with you!
